Still Alive
by Licuma Lome
Summary: The sequel to The Seventh Sister. What will happen to Sinistra and Snape after a certain event at the end of Harry's sixth year? Can Celaene still love a murderer?
1. In Which a Man Reveals He Hasn't Changed

Note: I don't own the characters, just the plot. This is the post-HBP sequel to "The Seventh Sister" and contains HBP spoilers. I hope you like it and I hope you review! Oh, and remember that the parts in italics are Snape's point of view.

* * *

**Chapter One: In Which a Certain Man Reveals that He Hasn't Changed at All**

Celaene looked down at her hand where the silver ring shone on one of the fingers of her left hand. She took a deep breath and slipped it off her hand, fighting tears as it fell to the stone floor with a ringing clatter. She couldn't believe it… didn't _want_ to believe it… But there was Dumbledore's body, still lying sprawled out in the grass outside her window. Celaene's tower was in ruins and she couldn't stand to be in it any longer. She crossed the room, leaving her wedding band on the floor, and left.

_It was still there when he came back, lying on the floor where she'd dropped it. He bent and picked it up, staring at in ambivalence. He would have to leave, and soon, or he'd risk having to duel with the Minister of Magic himself—something that he could certainly win, but it wouldn't be pleasant, and it wouldn't be a particularly good idea. They didn't understand—none of them, because he doubted Celaene would—and it would need time for him to convince them of his reasons. Still clutching the ring in the fist that bore its match, he swept out of the room._

She didn't know where to go… Celaene passed the crowd around Dumbledore's body, passed the Whomping Willow, and kept going, taking the road that led to Hogsmeade.

He killed Dumbledore. He—the one who she thought had changed, the one she thought she could trust—had _killed_ Albus Dumbledore. After all these years… She wiped tears angrily out of her eyes and kept walking through the shadows towards the village. Once through the gates, she heard people, felt them press against her.

"Is it true? Is he dead?"

She didn't answer.

"Really? Tell us!"

She just kept walking.

"You're a professor at the school! Surely you know the truth!"

Celaene waved her wand impatiently, shoving them unceremoniously away from her. She walked to the very outskirts of the village where none of them followed her and slumped down in the grass, staring miserably at the stars, hoping that they could provide comfort for her one more time, but doubting it. The thought came back again and again, echoing in her head: _He killed Albus._ So calmly… Just killed him.

* * *

_He knew where she would have gone—in Hogsmeade, there was an open field at the outskirts of the village where she would go to watch the stars. He had gone with her once in the summer and there they had made love, sprawled out on the grass, out in the open, not caring if anyone was watching or not. It made him ache deep in his chest as he followed the trail, covered by an invisibility spell. _

_It turned out that the invisibility spell was quite useless; he ended up taking it off when he realized he'd have to shove so many people out of the way anyway. They screamed to see him looking so furious and holding his wand out threateningly, not hesitating it to thrust them out of the way occasionally._

_Severus began to run when he felt the Aurors' presence behind him, but it was really of no matter to him; he was there. She had her back to him. She was shaking.

* * *

_

"Celaene?"

She stood up and turned furiously to him. "You killed him," she said, her voice shaking with emotion. "After everything he did for you, everything he did for us all, you killed him."

"Celaene, please listen to me: I _had_ to!"

"No, you didn't!" She didn't want to hear it. "You told me, Severus, you told me once. You said, 'I wouldn't kill another living thing'. But you did…" She felt the hot tears stinging her eyes and running down her cheeks.

"I didn't want to," he protested.

"Then why did you?" She turned away from him.

"Cella, my—" whispered Severus, reaching his hand out to her.

"Don't call me that," she interrupted. He had used his pet name for her, that secret nickname he had only _ever_ used before when they were in bed together. There were people coming now. She let them come until an Auror, reaching her before they got to Severus, grabbed her shoulders and pushed her, saying, "Out of the way, ma'am, he's dangerous—"

She thrust them away from her with the same spell she'd used on the villagers. They fought against the wall she had created, but none of them got through.

"You're evil, Severus, you haven't changed at all," she said flatly.

"I'm not."

"You _are_," she insisted.

"Cella!" He reached out to her again and she noticed with a jolt that was more painful than she thought it would be that he still wore his ring.

"I told you not to call me that!" She whipped out her wand in anger and sadness and made a slashing movement in the air. A deep cut opened across his chest and she did it again and again until he was shaking, shivering with pain as blood poured onto the ground. Still, he did not take his eyes off of her. She collapsed into tears again, though she still did not let through any of the crowd of people trying to get to her.

* * *

_Severus's body was in agony but it was nothing to what was going on in his heart and mind. _I can deal with Dumbledore's loss if only I can have my wife,_ he thought desperately. He forced himself to take a step towards her… then another, and another. He sank to the ground beside her: she had her face buried in her knees, which were drawn up to her chest. With one hand, he clutched his bleeding chest; with the other, he touched her shoulder._

_"Celaene Andromeda Sinistra Snape," he pronounced with difficulty, "I'm the same man you loved and you are too intelligent to believe otherwise."_

_"You've changed," said the Astronomy professor, shaking out of his grip._

_"I have not." It was a struggle just to breathe, let alone speak. He was panting, visibly shaking. Bleeding to death._

_"You _have_," she insisted vehemently. "I didn't marry a murderer."_

_He recoiled as if she had struck him with a whip. "I killed long before I ever had you," he said through gritted teeth, now seeing not her but the blank eyes of his first victim—his father, Tobias Snape. "I'm no different now than I was that first night, Cella…" He coughed out blood and she gasped, apparently not having realized the extent of her damage.

* * *

_

Celaene saw the blood and gasped. She grabbed her wand just in time and closed the deep slashes across his body. He shuddered and she made a complicated jabbing motion with the slender ivory wand. Severus lay still where he had fallen on the grass, looking up at the sky.

One of his pale hands pointed weakly up at the sky. "Mars is bright and Venus is dim. I know what it means and I won't push you, Cella." He took a deep breath and continued: "But I want you to keep this—" he pushed his left hand towards her, "so you won't forget."

His hand was balled into a fist, his muscles unable to move because of such extensive blood loss. She pried his fingers open and, with a tiny sob, she recognized her wedding ring. She picked it up but did not put it on.

Celaene jumped at the touch on her shoulder. In the wave of emotion that had hit her when he'd given back her ring, she'd lost the concentration on her shielding spell.

"Ma'am, it's okay, we're going to take him to Azkaban. We'll lock him up, don't worry," said a voice soothingly in her ear. "Your husband will be kept safely away from you, never see you again."

"Never… what?" she shrieked suddenly. Celaene struggled as two Ministry officials picked her up and began to carry her away. One of them tried to stun her but he missed. She was still saying over and over, "No, you can't, don't take him, he's—"

But they never got to hear what he was because they suddenly dropped her as if they'd been burned. She hit the ground hard but didn't register the pain. Someone tried to pick her up again. She rolled out of their grasp and hurried back to Severus. Aurors were bending over him now, trying to get him, but he was too powerful of a wizard for them to be able to easily. She knew that he was using dangerous, nonverbal wandless magic that would drain all of his remaining strength before beginning to tap the energy that kept him alive. His black eyes met hers for barely more than a second, but it was enough—she grasped his hand tightly around the wrist, raised her wand, and Disapparated, dragging him with her.


	2. In Which Heart and Soul Both Seem Lost

Poor Celaene... she's so confused and lost... Anyway, I hope you like it, I hope you review. I know I say it every time, but it's still true...!

* * *

**Chapter Two: In Which the Heart and Soul Both Seem Lost**

_"They'll know where we've gone in a few minutes," he murmured. She dropped his hand and backed away, nodding slowly._

_"I know. I still don't trust you," she warned. He closed his eyes as though trying to focus his thoughts and gather patience._

_"Where have we gone?" He asked finally. It was easier than convincing her…_

_"Home. My house."_

_"I've never been here before," Severus said in barely a whisper. The loss of blood was costing him his strength and he felt dull and dim-witted. _

_"No," she confirmed, still not able to look at him properly._

_He coughed weakly. "Cella, Cella," he muttered._

_"I'm still here." He could tell she was concerned but unwilling to get closer. "Tell me what to do, tell me what potion—"_

_"You can't make it in time."_

_"A spell, then—"_

_"You have not the skill."_

_"Snape," she said firmly, "I'm not going to let you die. One man has died tonight already."_

_The use of his surname stung. She hadn't called him "Snape" in over three years. She closed her eyes and Severus realized, horrified, what she would do a split-second before she began.

* * *

_

Celaene knew that if a witch or wizard was truly desperate and did not know what to do, they could open their mind and pour out their soul a little at a time in exchange for knowledge. She closed her eyes, focused on what she needed, and let go of the most basic of human instincts. Celaene let go of her will to live.

A wrench in her stomach told her it worked and it was as if a voice spoke in her head. "_Sergesurgess_ is the incantation that replenishes blood. Severus Snape has lost a quarter of the blood in his body; you need an unbroken minute of concentrated spelling…"

She stopped the connection cleanly, as though cutting it off with a knife.

Snape—she couldn't bare to even think of him as "Severus" anymore—was breathing fast and shallow. She pointed her wand at him and spoke the incantation. A blood-red line of fire connected her wand with his chest and she looked at her watch. She forced herself to concentrate on that line, making sure it didn't break.

Five seconds passed… he moved his head slightly to the side. Thirty seconds… he opened his mouth and let out a pitiful, painful moan. Fifty seconds—he was almost done—there was noise behind her. She tried not to focus on it. Fifty-five seconds… he just needed five more… A hand on her shoulder made her jump but she didn't let that line break. Three… two… someone pushed her out of the way at the last second and the spell broke. Snape opened his eyes and sat up.

"Don't ever do that again, Cella," he spat. "Never, _ever_, no matter what happens, don't ever give away any more of your soul!"

"_Stop calling me Cella!_"

"_Then don't call me Snape!_" The Aurors had arrived, they were pulling Snape to his feet, leading him away.

"Severus died with Dumbledore, and all that's left now is Snape," she yelled.

"Sinistra," he bellowed, "you closed-minded fool of a woman! I don't care if I ever see you again!"

"I'm not Sinistra anymore, I'm your _wife,_ damn it!" She chased him and the Aurors.

"You don't still want to be," he said, taunting her. "So why don't you just go back to Sinistra? Go find your worthless sisters and forget about me!"

"They aren't worthless," she shouted.

"No, I suppose not," said Snape. "By the way, Sinistra," he spat, saying her name as if it were a curse, "did you know that 'Merope' was the Dark Lord's mother's name? Sure you know everything about her, are you? And 'ssynistrah', do you want to know what that means in Parseltongue?" He didn't wait for her answer. "It means 'slut', and that's what you are!"

She could have hit him, just then. "I just saved your worthless, bloody life! I didn't have to do that!"

"You gave away your soul! I'm not worth that, Sinistra!" He pulled free of the Aurors and looked directly at her. "I'm telling you," he said, breathing heavily, "that I love you, Celaene! And if it's not worth anything to you, then I don't want to waste your time, but I do want you to keep that ring so that you can always remember the commitment you made and the vows you're breaking tonight, and the love you're throwing away." He kissed her violently, biting her lip with enough force to draw blood, and then let the Aurors take him again.

* * *

Celaene stared blankly into the spot where he'd disappeared, tasting the hot metallic tang of blood in her mouth, turning the ring over and over in her hand without realizing she did it.

* * *

She felt numb. He was gone and she was there still, all alone now except for a timid-looking Ministry official who walked up to her.

"Ma'am?"

Celaene turned towards him and he held something out to her, the same way Snape—Severus—had given her that ring. It was a piece of parchment. She read it without much interest:

Dear Mrs. Snape,

Your presence is required at a hearing for Severus Septimius Snape on the thirtieth of June at the Ministry of Magic in courtroom ten. We wish to express our deepest regret that you must be present at this hearing and we extend our sympathy to you and your family during this trying time. Best wishes,

Yours sincerely,

Cleodora Throckton

Department of Magical Law Enforcement

"Absolutely not," she said to the Ministry official. "I will not go watch my husband be sentenced for murder at an unfair and biased trial."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I'm afraid you don't have the power to overrule—"

"I don't want to hear it!" Celaene pulled out her wand and Disapparated back to Hogsmeade.


	3. In Which Many Questions are Asked

I'm really sorry about this chapter. I know there's a LOT of back and forth, back and forth-type writing, but I didn't really know how else to write the trial. I still hope you can find it in your heart to enjoy it, though, and please review!

* * *

**Chapter Three: In Which Many Questions are Asked and Few Answers are Given**

"You have to go, Celaene," he said gently.

"I can't do it, Remus, I just can't…"

"You're his only chance to get off because the rest of us are sworn into the Order…"

"I'm in the Order, too!" Celaene wailed.

"Yes, but your situation is quite different," he said patiently. "Dumbledore—" he paused to give his voice time to steady again, "—has made allowances between members of the Order who are… intimately involved. You will be able to defend him; he does—did— not expect us to watch our loved ones be thrown in prison without our being able to help them. Molly could defend Arthur, I could defend Tonks, and you can defend Severus. Lily had to defend James once, last time."

Celaene nodded at that, accepting it. "Okay. I can do that. I'll try, Remus."

Lupin smiled, though it was obviously strained. "But you must understand, Celaene, that others of us may have to give evidence against him."

She looked up sharply. "Against him? But you know—"

"It's part of the conditions of joining the Order… were Dumbledore still alive he might be able to change it, but he's dead and the magic is fixed."

"Remus," said Celaene miserably, "why did he have to do it?"

"I don't know, Celaene. We'll both have to figure it out, I guess."

* * *

_Azkaban was miserable, though infinitely better since the dementors left. At least now he could attempt to control the depressed thoughts that kept working their way through his mind. Cella had as good as left him and there was really no more point in living… But he'd go to the trial, he'd pretend to defend himself, and then he'd welcome the death sentence. Maybe she'd even watch him die, maybe she'd enjoy it… The thought caused more pain than he'd felt all night, but he gave the floor a twisted smile anyway and paid no attention to Lucius Malfoy, who was trying to get his notice._

_Severus barely slept at all that night… He kept waking suddenly and checking his hand to ensure that his wedding band was still there._

_The guards came to take him to his trial the next morning and he went willingly._

_The Wizengamot sat in its benches, staring coldly down at him. There was a somber mass of witches and wizards sitting in the courtroom to watch the trial, as well, and Rufus Scrimgeour looked down on him, ready to judge. But none of these made him so much as blink. It was the witnesses there—there to testify for or against him—that made him look around in surprise. Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Molly and Arthur Weasley, Harry Potter, and… and _her.

* * *

His eyes emptied and widened when she looked into them. She saw his lips form the word "Celaene" before one of the guards grabbed his arm roughly and forced him to sit down in the cold metal chair. Scrimgeour pounded his gavel and reminded Snape that he was not allowed to speak directly to the witnesses but must do so through the judge or the Wizengamot.

"Severus Septimius Snape," began the Minister. "You have been called here today to stand trial for the murder of Albus Dumbledore, an act which will earn you, should you be convicted, a death sentence. You will be allowed to defend yourself by answering, or not answering, questions asked you by myself or any member of the Wizengamot or the witnesses. They will in turn answer questions asked them by myself or any member of the Wizengamot. This information will be used to determine the truth. Do you have any questions?"

"No," Snape answered quietly.

"Will you submit to Veritaserum?"

"No," Snape repeated, more quietly still.

"Mr. Snape," said the Minister, "you are reminded that Veritaserum will force you to tell the truth and it is admissible as evidence in this court."

"I know what Veritaserum does, Scrimgeour, as I am your main provider of the potion," said Snape icily. "I will not be interrogated when I do not have my… normal presence of mind."

"Very well," said Scrimgeour. "Now, to begin…" He cleared his throat. "You are Severus Septimius Snape, are you not?"

"I am."

"The son of the Muggle Tobias Snape and the witch Eileen Prince?"

"Indeed."

"And you were found innocent seventeen years ago of Tobias Snape's murder?"

"I was."

"But you did commit this murder, did you not?"

Snape paused for a fraction of a second before replying, calmly as ever, "I did."

"And you were let go because you committed this crime… under great emotional strain?"

Snape's lip curled. "Yes."

"Mr. Snape, our records show that you spent seven months in Azkaban Prison for the participation in crimes committed by the Death Eaters. Is this true?"

"It would seem so."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Only that I wish you would stop asking me pointless questions that you already have the answers to!" Snape had stiffened visibly.

"There is no need for that, now, Mr. Snape. Were you at any time involved with the work of the Death Eaters?"

"Yes."

"And are you a Death Eater?"

"In a sense."

"What do you mean by that?"

Snape did not answer.

"Mr. Snape?"

"I will not answer that question."

Scrimgeour frowned and made a mark on the parchment in front of him. "Do you have respect for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"One cannot be in the service of the Dark Lord without acquiring a certain degree of respect for him, even if one does not… entirely agree with his cause."

"Let me rephrase that question: Are you loyal to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

Snape seemed to consider it. His right hand had, seemingly subconsciously, gone to his left forearm. "I do not know."

"You do not know? How could you not know?"

"When I say 'I do not know'," Snape said testily, "I mean that I cannot tell you because I do not possess the answer!"

"Very well. Mr. Snape, did you or did you not murder Albus Dumbledore?"

"I did not."

"You did not kill Dumbledore?" Scrimgeour raised an eyebrow.

"I did kill him. I did not murder him."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Murder is the act of killing someone for one's own reasons and in cold blood. To kill someone is merely to take their life."

"And you did not kill Dumbledore for your own reasons or in cold blood?"

"I did not."

"Why did you kill him?"

"He asked me to."

"I have difficulty believing a great wizard like Albus Dumbledore would ask you to kill him," said Scrimgeour skeptically.

"I'm sorry."

"Why did he ask you to kill him?"

"So that we could continue fighting. Thank you ever so much for ruining his plan and making him die in vain, Minister." The witches and wizards in the courtroom gasped. Snape had not said that maliciously; indeed, he had said it politely and with as much respect as any of them had for the Minister of Magic, but no one seemed to notice.

"Thank you, Mr. Snape. That is enough for now," the Minister said coldly.

"You are very welcome."

"The court calls Remus Lupin to testify," he called out in a ringing voice.

Celaene felt Lupin stand up from where he'd been sitting between her and Tonks. He walked forward and sat in a chair placed near Snape's.

"Remus Lupin, do you testify for or against Severus Snape?"

Remus answered carefully, "I am here to tell what I know of Thursday's events for the court to hear. I do not wish to incriminate or free Severus, but to tell you the truth to the best of my ability."

Scrimgeour did not look pleased to hear that, but he kept his mouth shut about it.

"Mr. Lupin, did Severus Snape kill Albus Dumbledore?"

"I don't know."

"Was Snape involved with the Death Eaters?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"How do you know?"

"He has told me. Dumbledore told me. I have seen the mark on his arm."

"Is he _actively_ involved with them or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

"Yes."

"How do you know that?"

"I have seen and heard others' personal accounts of his activities."

"Did Dumbledore trust Snape?"

"I believe so."

"Why?"

"He would never tell me."

"Why not?"

"I'm sure he had his reasons." Remus looked as calm as ever, though he was pale. Celaene knew that Remus had no choice but to make Snape look guilty, but it didn't make her happy about it and she bit her lip in anger. Tonks put a hand on her shoulder and Celaene tried to relax.

"What did Snape do on the night in question immediately before he entered the Astronomy Tower?"

"He fought his way through us—we, that is to say, members of the Order of the Phoenix, were fighting with Death Eaters—and blew apart the door to the tower before running up it."

"Did he say anything?"

"Many things, none of which were pleasant and few of which were intelligible."

"What did he say?"

"Mostly a mix of curses and jinxes and swear words that I'd prefer not to repeat," said Lupin quietly. "But he also said something about Harry Potter, trying to get to Draco Malfoy, and… and destroying Dumbledore."

"And when he left the tower?"

"He was running, sprinting out. He yelled to the Death Eaters that it was all over and time to leave, but then I did not see or hear any more."

"Thank you, Mr. Lupin. You may return to your seat."

"You are welcome," he said politely, and sat down beside Celaene and Tonks again.

Scrimgeour skipped over Tonks and the Weasleys and called Harry down.

"Harry Potter?"

"Yes, sir."

"Do you testify for or against Severus Snape?"

"Against." Snape stiffened slightly.

"Did Severus Snape kill Albus Dumbledore?"

"Yes, sir."

"How do you know?"

"I saw him."

"Did you make any attempt to stop him?"

Harry hung his head. "No, sir."

"Why not?"

"Dumbledore petrified me so that I would not, sir."

"Why?"

"I think he didn't want me hurt, sir." The audience murmured its approval and several of the Wizengamot smiled sadly at him.

"Did Snape give any indication of why he killed Albus Dumbledore?"

"No, sir."

"Do you know why?"

"No, sir."

"Thank you, Mr. Potter. You may return to your seat."

Harry nodded and sat down again beside Mrs. Weasley. Celaene knew what was coming next.

"Celaene Snape, please take the seat in front of the court."

She stood up numbly and did as she was told, trying not to look at her husband—who was staring quite openly at her.

"Celaene Andromeda Sinistra Snape, do you testify for or against Severus Snape?"

"For him, sir."

"And you are married to this man, are you not?"

"Yes, Minister."

"Do you love this man?"

"I don't know, Minister." She hung her head and blinked tears away.

"You don't know?"

"I _did_ love him, I know that much… but I don't know anymore."

"Quite understandable, miss, don't you worry about that," said a kindly-looking old witch in the front row of the Wizengamot. Celaene smiled gratefully at her, then glanced at Snape, who had a very ugly expression on his face. He was still wearing his ring. She slipped her hand inside her pocked and felt hers there. The Minister cleared his throat importantly and looked around at them all for silence.

"Is your marriage a… a happy one?"

"Yes," said Celaene defensively. "Well, no," she murmured after a moment of silence. "It was, until… until about a month ago. He began acting strangely, had a shorter temper and was more secretive. But until then, it was—well, we had rough spots, of course, but everyone has those!"

"Would you describe Snape as a violent man?"

"Not necessarily violent. He's never physically hurt me, if that's what you mean, and I've never seen him do so to anyone else, or heard of it—not since he was released from Azkaban the first time. But he has a… quick temper."

"Yes, so we have all seen." Snape's grip on the arms of his chair tightened. Celaene looked away. "And—I'm sorry, I must have missed—when did he become more secretive and acting oddly?"

"Around early May, sir."

"Thank you," he said. "Did Snape kill Dumbledore?"

"I think so, but I didn't see it."

"Would Snape have any reason to kill Dumbledore?"

"Not that I'm aware of, but Severus is a very private man. There is much to his life that he doesn't share even with me." Snape looked up at Celaene when he heard his first name. She looked at him for a moment and suddenly reached out and grabbed his hand. He was startled, by the look in his eyes, but he didn't pull it back. The entire courtroom watched. Celaene was surprised by how cold his hand was, but she couldn't fix that; her wand was outside, having been confiscated for the trial. She pulled the ring out of her pocket and slipped it back onto her finger, making sure he could see it. Comprehension dawned on his face, but he remained quiet.

Scrimgeour resumed his questioning: "Do you believe what Snape tells us? Is he, if you'll excuse this, Mr. Snape—"

"I doubt it," he muttered.

"—is he a liar?"

"No," said Celaene firmly.

"Is Snape a member of the Order of the Phoenix?"

"Yes."

"And yet he is also a Death Eater?"

"Yes."

"How can this be?"

"He is—was—our spy."

"And he gave you information about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

"Yes."

"Valuable information?"

"The very best."

"Thank you, Mrs. Snape. You may return to your seat.

Celaene stood up and walked back to her seat. Remus looked at her as if to say "I told you so," but he remained silent.

"Mr. Snape."

"I'm still here."

"Thank you. Do you agree with everything the witnesses here have said?"

"Yes."

"So you are a Death Eater?"

"Yes."

"And a member of the Order of the Phoenix?"

"Yes."

"A spy?"

"Yes."

"When did Dumbledore ask you to kill him?"

"I can't recall exactly when. He told me that I must always do what was required of me by the Dark Lord or I would risk losing my disguise. I was ordered to kill him as I knew I would eventually be; I had discussed the matter with Dumbledore and he told me that if the occasion did indeed arise, I must kill him, no matter what I felt."

"And the occasion arose?"

"Yes."

"So you killed him?"

"I believe we've already established time and again that I did!"

"Thank you, Mr. Snape. The Wizengamot will now make its decision."

We waited for ten minutes, letting them all decide how to vote. Then Scrimgeour called out, "All in favor of acquittal?"

Several raised their hands. Severus looked up and began counting. Scrimgeour wrote a number on his parchment.

"And those in favor of conviction?"

The rest went up. Celaene's stomach sank as Scrimgeour said the result that everyone already knew: "Severus Septimius Snape, you have been charged with and convicted of this crime. You are hereby sentenced to death or a lifetime sentence in Azkaban. Which do you choose?"

"Death," he said dully.

Celaene stood up sharply. "No!"

"Cella, I'd rather die than live in prison."

"I can't live without you, Sev!"

"You'll have to anyway. I'm never getting out, he just said that."

"But you—it wasn't—"

"It was fair, Cella." The words, she could tell, cost him a lot. He spoke slowly, his voice almost shaking. "I killed him. I have no choice."

"But you aren't evil! You're not!" Celaene was desperate for him to understand—for all of them to understand.

"I killed."

"You aren't evil!"

"If I'm dead, I can't do it again."

"You wouldn't!"

"That's what we thought three and a half years ago, isn't it?"

"But—but this time—surely, Severus, you won't—"

"We never can tell, Cella, love," he said, with an ironic smile.

The guards pulled Severus to his feet and led him away. "No," Celaene moaned. "Don't take him! Please…"

But no one was listening. Remus held her back, or she would have run after them. She struggled, but he was stronger than she. Finally, she slumped back on the bench, crying and rocking back and forth. Tonks took her hand sympathetically and Molly hugged her. Harry remained silent.

"He'll never be dead, Celaene, unless you stop loving him," said Remus quietly.

"I hate him," she said, staring at the grey stone of the floor.

"You love him."

"But I hate him, too!"

"Don't say that, Celaene."

"I love him," she admitted, finally looking back up.

"I know," said Tonks.

"Why are they so stupid?"

"They think they're doing the right thing."

"But they aren't."

"I know," repeated the pink-haired young woman.

"And I can't do anything about it…"

"You can be strong, Celaene," said Tonks. "Severus wouldn't want you to cry. He never did. I remember, Celaene, he once saw you crying after Sirius died and told you he'd rather see you dying than sad."

"He was always sweet like that," said Arthur with a twisted smile.

Celaene managed the smallest of smiles before looking back down at the floor. "Unfortunately, Tonks, I think that was because he didn't think Sirius deserved it…"

"Oh, right," said Tonks unhelpfully.


	4. In Which Death Comes Quietly

Oh... This chapter is so sad! As always, I hope you like it. I also really really hope you review...!

* * *

**Chapter Four: In Which Death Comes Quietly and Leaves a Painful Scar**

Severus would be killed the next morning at dawn. Celaene received an owl that night when she returned to the castle:

Dear Mrs. Snape,

The Ministry regrets to inform you that your presence is required at the execution of Severus Septimius Snape on the first of July at six thirty in the morning. The execution will take place at Azkaban Prison. We wish to extend our sympathy to you during this trying time. Best wishes,

Yours sincerely,

Cleodora Throckton

Department of Magical Law Enforcement

"I have to watch?" she gasped, rereading the letter. "They want me to watch him die? They m-must b-be crazy…" She was trembling now. Tonks stroked her hair gently.

"It won't be that bad," she reassured Celaene. "You'll be with him, and that's how he'll want it."

"He d-doesn't w-want it at all," she said, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes again.

"No, I know he doesn't," she whispered. "He wants to be with you, Celaene. I'll tell you what—I can get you in early and you can spend some time with him before… before it happens. Would you like that, Celaene?"

"Thanks, T-Tonks… I would…" Celaene brushed tears from her eyes and stood up.

"I'll come get you at four tomorrow and we'll go to Azkaban, and I'll wait for you and bring you back here. Alright?"

Celaene nodded feebly, knowing perfectly well that nothing was right at all.

* * *

She didn't sleep at all that night, though she did try. All she could see when she closed her eyes was Severus, Severus smiling, laughing, yelling… She could almost hear him, the way he would whisper in her ear, "Cella, love, I love you…"

* * *

Celaene was ready when Tonks came to pick her up in the morning. She was shaking worse than ever, sobbing… She was a mess. The whole journey there she spent twisting her ring around her finger.

Tonks let her into the building, opened the door to Severus's cell, and whispered—for Severus was asleep—that she'd wait outside.

Celaene walked over to the pathetic bed that had been provided for him and sat on the edge of it. "Severus…" she murmured. "Wake up, love."

He opened his black eyes with a start. "Surely it's not time yet," he said wildly. Then he recognized her and softened. "Cella," he whispered. "Why are you here? I don't want you to have to see…" he faltered and stopped.

"They say I have to," she said, crying again.

"Don't cry," he instructed her.

"Why shouldn't I? I'll never… Oh, Severus…" He pulled her into a tight hug and held her while she cried into his chest.

"You'll be alright," he assured her. "You'll be alright, Cella. I love you; I'll always love you. Always…"

She looked up into his pale face. It was dry, but she knew Severus never cried. He wiped her tears and kissed her several times.

"Tell me, Cella, will you take care of yourself? Find someone else?"

"No," she said miserably. "How can I find anyone like you?"

"Go to people who love you, Celaene, because I don't want you to be alone. Go stay with Remus and Tonks, or Arthur and Molly. Will you do that?"

"I will," promised Celaene. She felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest, cut up and torn apart and she could barely look into his firm black eyes that were full of anger and love. She put her head on his chest and held him and they waited.

* * *

_Severus heard the guard coming before Celaene did. He gently pushed her away and stood up. She followed. "It's time," said the guard nastily._

_Severus felt her clutch his hand tightly as they followed him out. Tonks joined them after a few minutes. She wrapped her arm around Cella and nodded gravely to Severus, who couldn't make himself respond. After several moments, he spoke to her, looking at the ground. "Will you take care of Celaene, Tonks? You, and Remus?"_

_"Of course," assured Tonks very quietly._

_Severus nodded his thanks. _

_The room was cold and dark. There were two guards inside, and the Minister of Magic, and the executioner. He held a bottle of black liquid in one hand, which he gave to Severus._

_"Sit," he was ordered._

_He sat. Celaene knelt beside him, shaking so badly now that she could barely hang onto his hand._

_"Drink," said the executioner._

_Severus, feeling numb and clumsy, opened the bottle. It was a powerful poison; he'd be dead in seconds after the liquid touched his lips. He realized with a horrible shock that he had been this potion's brewer. It made him gag._

_"Drink," he was told, more firmly._

_He raised the bottle to his lips._

_Celaene sobbed louder, hung onto him tightly, whispering under her breath, "No, no…"_

_He swallowed._

_She screamed it, then: "No!"_

_His grip on her hand relaxed and his eyes fell out of focus. He grew cold, then warm again. He could barely hear anymore, but someone was saying words to him. He struggled to understand… "I love you," it sounded like. Cella…_

_"I love you, too," he tried to respond. "Cella, I love you."

* * *

_

"I… too," he croaked. "Cella… love…" He swallowed hard, blinked, and closed his eyes. His breathing slowed, then finally stopped.

"No," she said. She said it quietly, calmly. "No. Severus, wake up. It's time to get up, love, wake up."

An arm wrapped around her and pulled her away. "He can't wake up," said Tonks. She sounded empty. "He can't come back, Celaene."

"He has to come back!" She shrieked. "Please, Severus, come back to me! I need you, Severus!"

The guards were leading her away from him. She clutched his lifeless hand. "Severus," she pleaded. "Please, Severus, I need you to come back right now! Wake up!"

He didn't stir. He should have woken up by now… the only other option was that he was really… Tonks pulled on her hand gently. "Come on, Celaene, you know better. We're going to go back to Hogwarts and have a cup of hot tea and I'll be here for you, me and Remus will be here."

Feeling empty and weighed down at the same time, Celaene allowed herself to be directed out of the room and out of the prison. The doorway seemed to her like a mouth that had swallowed her husband and she couldn't bear the sight of it. "Severus…" she whispered.


	5. Of Acceptance and Forward Motion

The last chapter. Bittersweet, I suppose... Please enjoy and REVIEW!

* * *

**Chapter Five: Of Acceptance and Forward Motion**

An owl flew into Celaene's window that night. Tonks, looking exhausted, walked over to it and pulled out the package it dropped. She opened it for Celaene, who was past caring about such tiny matters. Remus sat beside her, talking softly to her. She seemed not to hear; her eyes were glazed and unfocused, staring miserably into the distance.

"It's all of his belongings," said Tonks, handing it to Celaene, who caught it out of reflex and opened it. She pulled out a long black robe, a white shirt, and a pair of black pants. There were shoes there, too and his wand… and a silver ring. Where she had been crying quietly, she now wailed, "He wore it until he died! He kept it and I didn't! Why did I take it off, why did I ever take it off?"

"You didn't know, Celaene," said Remus. "You couldn't have known."

"I shouldn't have taken it off," she repeated over and over again.

"Celaene?" Tonks asked timidly, several hours later.

"What?"

"Do you want some more tea?"

"No, I don't want any more fucking tea." Celaene's tone was flat and depressed.

"Do you want something to eat?"

"No."

"Can I get you anything?"

"Get me my husband back."

"I'm sorry," she said for the thousandth time. "I'm going to go home, Celaene, but if you need me, Floo me, okay?"

"Yeah."

Tonks hugged the Astronomy professor. She didn't respond but stared down at her hand, looking at the narrow band of silver. "And Remus will be there, too. Okay?"

"Sure."

* * *

Celaene stared out of her window for so long that night that she stopped seeing everything. The sky was black; she couldn't see any stars. Strange that she didn't care… It felt like looking into herself; she was a night sky without her stars, without her moon. She tried to feel sad or angry or… or _something_, but all she felt was empty. Cold and empty and lonely.

* * *

In the morning, Celaene woke up stiff and cold and miserable. There was no reason to go to breakfast—who needed to eat? Who cared? She went instead to the dungeon he had occupied for so many years. She could almost feel him there, almost hear his impatient, sardonic voice tell her to enter. Glass bottles and flasks lined the walls. A potion long ruined boiled in the corner. Celaene put it out with a tired wave of her arm. It smelled horrible. He would never have let a potion be ruined like that. Never…

It was too clean in there. He was always so tidy. Celaene wiped her eyes on a sleeve of her robe and left the cold, grey dungeon, locking it behind her. She went back to her ruined tower and went into her—their—bedroom. She put her head on his pillow. He always slept on his left side, turned out and away from her. He was always so quiet and distant, but Celaene had known him well enough to be able to tell what he said without words.

She let the tears flow unchecked down her face and into the pillow. They had been opposites, always opposites… Severus never cried and Celaene had never died. He was gone now, unreachable. Dumbledore and Severus, both gone, essentially gone in the same night and by the same curse.

* * *

"Celaene?"

It was Tonks.

"What?"

"You're going to be okay."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. He wanted you to be happy…"

"How do you know what he wanted?"

"He told you, Celaene."

"I'm not happy, okay? I need to be sad. Please go away, Tonks."

Tonks left clumsily, knocking over, among other things, a photograph.

Celaene wandered over and picked it up. It smiled at her.

"Oh, Severus…" She watched his picture for a minute, then looked out the window, down at the grounds. Not "okay". Never "okay". But alive. She was alive.


End file.
